I got my first real hate mail the other day. Lovely to come home to this after a sweaty day of TCB-ing and on my way to a pilot co-star audition…. damn, Taylor, harsh.
I wasn’t that bent out of shape but it was helpful to fwd on to my sweetie and a few friends for validation that I was ok and didn’t need surgery. A thought provoking email to receive nonetheless. We’ve gotten criticism for CITY BABY before, and thats fine, I know I have problems, the movie has problems etc, no big deal, but this guy was different. His/her email felt deeply personal. Not that I took it too much to heart, but dude went through some trouble and some research to contact me and tell me how much I sucked. Kinda fascinating. I had actually been thinking about a blog entry about public vs. private persona, musings on celebrity culture etc – maybe I’ll write more on that later – but it felt related to these themes that were on my mind anyway. I strongly associate hatred with love. And both instances can easily veer into obsession. In my own experience anyway, ha. In some ways I’m oddly flattered that a seemingly random person (or, even a person that knows me) sent me this semi-thought out hateful note of disdain. Also curious, ‘Taylor’ – likely an avatar – which could be a man or woman – both possibly meaning different things. Anyway, thought I’d share. Its been in the back of my mind, not necessarily in a negative manner, just in the ethers, of putting myself into the world. I took a vocal workshop last weekend, which was consequently amazing, by the way. While we sighed and breathed into our stretches and recited monologues all at the same time – the teacher often asked – “Do you want to be heard?” and “Who do you want to listen to you?” because when you say something, if you say it loud enough, someone will hear you, and they will judge you for it. You’ve just gotta be ready for that.